The Dallas-Fort Worth housing market has been overheated for so long it’s hard to remember a time when it wasn’t. Home prices have risen so much, so fast, that buyers are starting to back away until it (hopefully) cools down. Hurricane Harvey played havoc with all kinds of homeowners in Houston. And with so many millennials flocking to San Antonio and Austin, it’s getting harder to avoid bidding wars for new homes.

Some of the most popular and iconic TV shows have been based in Texas, and in many of them, we’ve had the chance to see how and where our favorite characters live. What we often never stopped to ask ourselves was … could they actually afford their home?

So we here at neighborhoods.com decided to investigate whether or not America’s favorite make-believe Texans could afford to live there with today’s prices.

In order to find out, we took a look at a few specific factors. First, we figured out the approximate cost of the residence used in the TV show. Then, using Glassdoor’s salary guide, we tried to figure out how much those characters would make today given their stated professions.

From there we use Smart Asset’s home affordability tool to presume housing budgets and determine if the homes these made-up people live in are actually affordable. Of course, we can’t take into account things like down payments, savings, and investments, all of which would factor into these decisions, so you’ll just have to cut us some slack.

“Friday Night Lights”

Residence Type: Single-story, ranch-style house.

Location: The fictional town of Dillon, though the actual town from the book is Odessa.

Approximate Cost: $191,654

Profession: High school football coach (Coach Taylor), high school guidance counselor (Tami Taylor).

Salary: $60,000 (Coach) + $48,304 (Tami) = $108,304

Could they afford this house today?:

Yes. and then some! In fact, we’re probably low-balling what Coach Taylor got paid since Texas football coaches earn an average of $98,668, believe it or not. However, his salary certainly dropped when he took over at East Dillon in season three. Either way, they would have no problem affording this place, y’all.

“Dallas”

Residence Type: a 5,900-square-foot mansion with a 957-square-foot converted garage that’s now a den/card room, all located on a 300-acre ranch.

Location: The cattle-ranching land of Southfork, which is just outside Dallas.

Approximate Cost: For the whole ranch and the home, based on similar properties, we’re gonna ballpark around $200 million.

Profession: Oil company owners (The Ewing family).

Salary: Average yearly earnings probably come out to $15 million.

Could they afford this house today?:

“Dallas” is such a strange case because it takes into account generational income, oil fortunes, and the value of all that land. On a yearly intake alone, it’s not gonna happen but then again there’s a lot more going on here.

So, we’ll assume there was more than enough savings and equity to make it happen. And if you ever find yourself nearby, take a tour of the mansion to see if you want to pony up.

“Walker, Texas Ranger”

Residence Type: 1975-built, a 7,362-square-foot ranch that includes an 884-square-foot studio out back for your martial arts training.

Location: Dallas

Approximate Cost: It was up for sale asking $1.2 million in 2013, so we’ll up the value to $1.5 million.

Profession: Texas Ranger, duh.

Salary: $62,000

Could they afford this house today?:

Goodness, no! Chuck Norris chose the home because it actually belonged to his brother, but in reality, there’s no way a clean-cut Texas Ranger like Walker could afford a place like that. 

“King of the Hill”

Residence Type: A three-bedroom ranch-style house.

Location: Arlen (which is not real, but is based on Richardson).

Approximate Cost: $235,000

Profession: Propane store assistant manager (Hank), Substitute Spanish teacher (Peggy)

Salary: $45,292 (Hank) + $26,052 (Peggy) = $71,344

Could they afford this house today?:

Absolutely. The Hills are living within their means, which frees up enough expendable income for whatever red pick-up truck Hank wants to buy next. 

“Beavis and Butt-head”

Residence Type: A two-story suburban house.

Location: Highland, a fictional town that seems to be on the border of Texas and New Mexico.

Approximate Cost: $235,769 (though to be fair it doesn’t seem to be in the best shape).

Profession: Fry cook at Burger World (Beavis), Assistant manager at Burger World (Butt-head).

Salary: $20,800 (Beavis) + $24,960 (Butt-head) = $45,760

Could they afford this house today?:

The assumption has always been that Butt-head’s mom owns the house and is paying for it, but since we never see her and don’t know her income, we have to assume that our intrepid idiots are footing the bill.

In that case, we’ll say that they cannot make the payments and still have money left over for cable and snacks, but they’re not that far off.

“Reba”

Residence Type: Two-story, five-bedroom home on a 28,000 square-foot property.

Location: The Memorial neighborhood of Houston.

Approximate Cost: $990,000

Profession: Real estate agent

Salary: $46,438

Could they afford this house today?:

On her own, unfortunately, no. However, her former husband, a dentist who left Reba to marry his pregnant dental assistant, is surely on the hook for alimony and house payments. So we’re going to assume that, together, they can afford it.

“Young Sheldon”

Residence Type: A three-bedroom suburban home

Location: Medford, a fictional town in East Texas (parallels have been drawn with Katy).

Approximate Cost: $200,000

Profession: High school football coach (George)

Salary: $60,000

Could they afford this house today?:

Yes, the Coopers could certainly afford the house, especially if George actually makes more than our best guess, which is entirely possible. That also leaves plenty of money leftover for all of young Sheldon’s science experiments.